DUTY

I'm going to talk about hijab tonight.. No, I'm not being religious or even try to affect whoever read this to wear hijab. No, No, I'm not that kind of person. I'm a huge fans of freedom.

Well anyway, I just feel I wanna write something about it..

First time I ever wore hijab was when I was in high school.. I decided to wore hijab simply by hearing my sister read one of chapter on holy Al Quran.. It said :

"No woman shall smell the fragrance of heaven when she doesn't cover up her "aurat".."

I started to think.. How am I supposed to get in to the heaven while I'm not allowed to even smell it's fragrance.. That, I made the best decision of my life so far.. To wore hijab and cover my aurat..

Wore hijab doesn't changed many things up until now. I still me, a boyish girl who like to laugh. I myself, don't and maybe never understand why people always think that a women with hijab is kinda all saint and shouldn't do anything bad and why if a woman with hijab does anything bad or wrong, people would accused her for not sticking with her hijab. I mean, women  without hijab certainly cannot do anything bad either and on contrary, I didn't say that a woman with hijab is allowed to do anything wrong..

What I'm trying to say is.. Hijab, is a must, a duty, and an order from allah to be obeyed by Moslem women despite of her  behavior. 

For me, wearing hijab doesn't mean you have to be all saint or you are an all saint woman.. Allah never said that only good woman or saint woman should wear hijab.. Allah said, all moslem women..

So whatever a hijab woman do especially when she do bad things, don't ever mentioned her hijab.. Because you know, it has nothing to do with the hijab and it's not our job to judge. And we should remember, at least she try to obeyed the order to prove that she love Allah..

Yes.. for me, wearing a hijab and covering my aurat is the simplest way to prove that I'm proud to be a moslem woman and to prove my love to Allah.

You my friend, what have you do to prove your love to your Almighty? :)

TROUBLE SLEEPING

I rarely got my insomnia.. I'm that kind of person that can sleep easily even when by touching any pillow..

But tonight, I got mine.

I'm not tired at all.. Really..

And I got this weird habit when I got my insomnia.

I will clean up my bathroom. Yes, my bathroom..!

I don't know why maybe in order to make me tired and all.. And why bathroom? I don't know, I guess maybe It is kinda stage to me since I'm the bathroom singer.. :D

GOODBYE FINN

I still couldn't believe that Finn Hudson already gone..

When the first time I heard about Finn's death, I thought it was Finn Hudson, the character. But then later I knew it wasn't Finn Hudson, It was Cory Monteith's death.. which means no more Finn and no more Cory.

Goshhh.. He was my favorite character in Glee.. Maybe the only reason why I love to watched Glee was him before I began to attracted with another character..

I can't imagine Lea's devastation, I hope I never had to feel what she feel..

Be Strong, Lea.. he's only yours now, in another way.. :(

ANSWER IS NEAR

Every questions must have their own answers.. But the answer sometimes doesn't come within the question and we try so hard to get the answer. 

Sometimes the answer needs time to find its way to come to you.. Or sometime, the answer is clear but we just can't accept it or satisfied with it.. 

And when the answer come, you'd be surprised on how near the answer was because we simply just accept it by the time we ready.. :)

THE COFFEE PHILOSOPHY

Coffee's been a good friend to me lately.. From everything that I supposed to avoid, I still couldn't let go off coffee.. XD

There's a lot of people who had been inspired by a cup of coffee. Many interesting quotes came up from them.. Aaaaand my favorite one is..

"Man is like a coffee.. the best one is rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.."

So, What's yours? :)

SINCERE

Have I told you that things are ended up between me and N?

It's not quite a good story so maybe I shouldn't share it here..

Well, No.

The reason why I didn't share it here was because all of denials that I had made..

We've been together since almost 6 years, cheering and supporting at each other. But in that range of time, doesn't mean we never fought about anything.. The sad thing is, it ends not because the difference we had, but because of tiny stupid things called expectation..

I expected a lot from him.. From the tiniest things to the biggest things. So when he couldn't do the tiniest things, I assumed that he wouldn't do anything either..

So I began to questioned his seriousness towards our relationship.. He never answer. And I never had any patience to wait.. I started to catch his attention by always had him choosing whether he wants to be with me or his family.. Very very stupid I know, because the answer is always crystal clear.. 

I let myself drowned in hope that he might never meant to gave me before. I accused him that he didn't want this relationships worked. I blamed him for anything he never meant to gave me..

I could felt that we were just tired to each other.. So everything became ruined. We began to hurt each other.. Or worst, I began to hurt him.. And the conclusion came to an end..

Now that he moving on, I'm trying to be happy for him too.. But it just so hard to do so.. I cannot accept the fact that he doesn't love me anymore.. My heart broke and my body felt like teared apart..

I'm sad and angry at the same time..

But again I think, what if we come back together? Is there anything we can do to fix the difference we had? No.. We can never do anything about it.. So if we come back together, we will hurt each other again and maybe I will hurt him again.. No, its not the way we love..

Our relationships never give us a real happiness.. Maybe I should take the fact that it's not my ability to make him happy.. Maybe I'm not the one that can make him happy.. Maybe by being far from me that make him happy.. Maybe this way, he's happy..

This time, I still cannot force myself to sincerely being happy for him.. But I know I will.

When the time come, I would just laugh when I'm looking back at this moment and shake his hand with a big smile on my face and say this to him "congratulation old friends, you deserve your happiness"

Good bye N, I'm so sorry.. Please be healthy and happy :)

FOOL

Regarding to my last post, I was kinda embarrassed on how I was so foolish.. So I am sad, okay.. So I am on my low position, so what?

I never be able to hide my feeling towards something.. Up until now, I don't even know if it is good or bad to have that kind of ability. So I took sometime alone at my rent-room to express my sad feeling and then I decided to go home and meet my family.. 

It is magical when I meet my sister and my oldman I felt sooo much better without them did anything.. We were just talked about everything and poof! All my tears drained away..

I believe somebody ever said "at the time of test, family is the best" 

Hey man, whoever you are, I agree :)

DEAR UNIVERSE

I think I'm on my lowest position right now..

I constantly crying without even knowing why and I often angry on little things and the worst is, I was angry to someone who didn't deserve my anger..

I've been acting soo weird lately..

Is it because things that happen lately or is it because things that didn't happen lately?

Dear universe, what are you trying to say?

PIECE OF HEAVEN

Went to Bangka Islands two weeks ago..
I'm sooo happy that finally I  rewarded myself a 3-days vacation.. Yaayy :D

Bangka was a piece of heaven.. well, maybe I'm kinda over say it.. but it was such a great place.
Bangka got sooo many beautiful and wonderful beaches.. Its food was surprisingly delicious and affordable..

It was kinda small Island so there was no traffic jam (yayy-ness) and every place was so near that you can go from a beach to another in less than an hour..

I'm definitely would love to going there again and spent more than a week just to explore that piece of heaven..

Alhamdulillaah I had fun! :D

*photos taken at Parai Beach, Sungai Liat, Bangka

PROMISE

I've made promise to myself that if one day I got my very own husband, I'm gonna treat him as best as I could..

When he come home, I would took his jacket and serve him a hot tea.. Kiss him on his lips just so he know that he's the only one I've always waiting and thinking all day..

I'm gonna cook his favorite food and we'd talk about whatever happens this day while we had dinner together..

And then, we took a bath together and cuddling until we fall asleep..

Dear future husband, let's meet up :)