SOUL SISTER

My sister is probably the best gift my oldman ever gave me so far. I don't know what would I do without her. She is my best friend, my worst enemy, my partner in crime (especially when we tease our brother :p) and perhaps she is practically my mother. Yes, since our mother left us when my age was just turned third, she took care of me and my brother. She was just a kid too you know, because she was just turned seventh at that time.

Having a sister like her is the best feeling ever. It's like I always have a best friend, a someone, who never leave me. Someone who always care for me, rooting for me, trust me, support me emotionally and financially (ehm :p)  no matter how many times we fought and annoyed each other.

This is my first thought about her, but this wouldn't be the last. I feel like I'm out of words when I talked about her. Not because of  I've nothing to say anymore, it's just sooooo much to tell that I could never write them down at once.

I love you, silly sister :*

FEATURED

Featured in popflats's Instagram.. yayyy! I looove their shoes.. they're so comfy and playful at the same time. These daisy strings I wore is my favorite, they goes with every outfit.. Just like I said before, flowers never fail.. kiss :*

BEAUTIFUL MESS

I like this kind of mess. A mess before I'm going to travel somewhere. Always ended up carrying unused stuffs though.. Haha.

Can you guess where I'm about to go? 

See yaah :*

FRAGILE

I am so frightened that human connection is that fragile. That it's not unending. That how fast people to change their mind. That how easy people gives up on us. That how effortlessly people turn their back from us whenever they found a better person according to them. 

I had these hardship several times and sometime I still woke up in the middle of the night feeling anxious about everything. Sometime I woke up in the morning with an undescribeable feelings. Sometime I still cried during my sleep if I suddenly dreamed about people who left me. Not because I haven't move on nor I haven't forgive them. It's just I'm too terrified to feel that kind of feeling anymore. 

I believe that if we want someone to stay in our life we should do something about it. But how if those someone doesn't want to be in our life? We shouldn't force them to stay. 

Because life just doesn't works that way.

TIME HEAL?

So this past week, something I rather say "magical" happened to me. I met people from my past, I met my ex and I met my "old friend". The reason why I put quotes mark on "old friend" is because he wasn't really my friend, he was kinda my foe. The similar of both are when we sepparated, it wasn't really in a good way. And as far as I remember, I was so angry to them.

As I recall, it's been 2 years we havent seen each other. During the time, i was so busy on building my dream, hanging around more often with family, be there for my friends, and seeing some new guys. And surprisingly, my life was better and more interesting without them. I was so busy that I forgot that I have an anger to both of them. I forgive them even I never said it to them. 

So here's the magic begin,  when I met them, all I did was laugh and we talked a lot, kinda did some catch up here and there. I had so much fun, there wasn't an anger nor hatred towards them.

This is why I feel more and more sure that by reducing hatred and anger, we will free ourselves and our heart from burden, whatever it is. By forgiving and letting go bad feelings will make you so move on and free.

But I learned that all of this, this process need time. Need time. I agree. But the most important is not how much time we need to feel that, but what we did during the time so we finally will feel that.

So now, I will learn to letting go all of the bad feelings and let the time do their magic.. :)

LIVE

I used to love concert, I love to sing together, I love to be in the crowd, but lately I feel I'm too old for that thing. haha

The last two concerts I was attended was not really concerts, those was more like live music at a cafe where I sat down, sipping some baileys and enjoy the music. However, I still didn't want to miss those moments, so here they goes, some picture I captured those night.. :)

Sheila On 7 at Rolling Stones Cafe

Sandy Sandoro at Rolling Stones Cafe

Sore at Jazzy Night

Pure Saturday at Jazzy Night

Payung Teduh on Jazzy Night

AFTERNOON THOUGHT

My oldman always told me that I should  being nice to other people. I also have be polite, dynamic, tolerant, loose, silly, mature, firm, reliant, independent etc depends on who I am with. For all these time, I try to treat people with my best even if I realize that I can never pleased everyone. People said that I'm too naive and too easy to believe in someone. It's not that I'm being naive, I just make myself to see everything in the bigger picture. I believe that everybody have their positive side and with a little kindness maybe they'll make their positive side even brighter. That's why I love being kind, being kind is that nice, make everything seemed lighter. That's why I never understand why people hurt another. Moreover I don't understand why someone hurt me when I didn't do anything that hurt them. Maybe I should re-think about what my oldman said, because it's nice to being nice but it's wiser to be wise.